God. there is so much here that i love, that i can't ever find in north carolina. i was driving up into the holler(yeah. where my grandparents live. it's a windy road in the middle of the woods that leads to the opening where they all live) and it was pitch dark. the stars looked like i could reach up and take one from the sky, they were so bright, and perfect. and just looking around, there were hundreds of fireflies dancing around, it was so beautiful. this morning i woke up relatively early for me, around 10, and walked down to nannys. nanny, my mom, and me walked with about 4 dogs down the road, something i used to do every single morning during the summers i spent here. it's such a different life here. it's alot more laid back and calm. i could see myself raising a family here, but i don't know that i could live here right now. later on i'm going to UVA to look at the campus. who knows. maybe ill completely fall in love with it and want to move here in the fall. maybe ill hate it and it will do nothing but reinforce my confusion about living here. we'll just have to see i suppose. i miss all of my friends alot though. and half of them will be going away to college soon anyway and it's a scary thought. destinee is staying i think which makes me EXTREMELY happy. and i have joshie and zach and everyone that are staying. i need to go visit with papaw now, he's the cutest old man ALIVE.

haha, wow.

today i had to go to a family reunion, which was horrible.

but me kelsey and cydney left early to go shopping, and I MET JKAIN.

Now, normally this would be no big deal, but considering one day about a year ago i was randomly on myspace and was so bored i looked for teenagers that lived up here, and i found one, jkain, and added him. i talked to him sometimes and i mean, yeah. no big fuckin deal. but then my cousins said they were gonna pick up their friend jordan to go with us, and when he came outside i was like, holy shit. what are the chances that someone i met on myspace, that lives in a different state, would be getting in the same car as me. technology i swear. so that was funny. and we met these three guys, that were all beautiful,unrealistic beings, especially this one that looked like he came out of the same womb as channing tatum. we're gonna chill with them tomorrow i think.

 

Besides all that, nothing special or different has come of this trip. same ol same ol. i still love so much about here though, i swear you can hear the trains go by every hour, and it's the most comforting noise. and last night it stormed really bad, and i sat for hours on my 2mom's porch listening to the rain hit the trees and the tin roof. None of my friends have ever come with me here, i kinda wish i had brought someone with me.Maybe one of these days. : )

 

okay. i'm finished wasting valuable time on the computer when i could be sitting on the porch swing.

 

 

and honest to god, one thing that's bothering the fuckkkk out of me is how i could be smiling when i need to be angry. or full of hatred. or something. really? This is ridiculous. 

welp.

got my tattoo.

it's cute. it's sore. i love it.

 

 

i've waited too long to write cause there's alot to write about.

i'm too lazy.

 

I'm also indecisive. i can't make up my mind about anything worth a damn.

it's straight though, whatever happens, happens.

I swear that my life becomes more bizarre every fucking day.

I'm very up for it.

haha, this summer.

is going to be interesting.

yesssssss.